I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
