I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize