what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
