i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
