is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
