OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
