Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
