did you get engaged???
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize