Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
