So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know her cup size but not her name....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
