How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
