i just wanna soil my oats bro
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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