so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
