and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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