i will never coherently bang her
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize