and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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