You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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