so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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