ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
