It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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