By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
