So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
