I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize