I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
