you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
