so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
