yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
