Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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