Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
