my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
