she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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