Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
