dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
