I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize