I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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