I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Drake has all the answers
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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