I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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