Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
