He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
