Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
