I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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