is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
