...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
