i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
