Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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