she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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