I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize