I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
