remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's Friday. Sex?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
