Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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