Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I looked at my own cervix.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize