And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
