so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
