it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
