its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
