I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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