she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
