Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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