you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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