Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
