Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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