her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
